Past wounds, personal issues, and defensive states will prevent us from discovering, experiencing, and sharing real love. This love (true love, universal love) exists within our spirit (true nature, divine nature). To even discover it we must first remove any barriers that lay between our conscious awareness and spirit. These barriers often consist of wounds, issues, and defenses; as well as the human mind and sense perceptions. As long as they remain, we are unable to access real love, or even understand what it is. What we call love is something our mind has created from observations, experiences, or media influences along the way. We see or hear what people call love, form our own understanding of it, and then seek to create what we believe it to be. When we connect with someone in a relationship, we have a romantic or sexual experience, and then attempt to mold it into what we believe love is. Children often provide telling portrayals of how love is expressed in their homes when they do role plays in Mommy and Daddy’s shoes. And often this is precisely what is occurring — role playing. Actors and actresses are performing roles in an attempt to create what they believe to be love, while trying to find ways to get their real needs met behind the scenes; without understanding why their relationships are not fulfilling. They are not fulfilling because they are not love. When we shed the layers that separate us from our spirit, we find love. But how do we do this?
One Way: Finding Our Soulmate
If we are fortunate enough to find our soulmate, the walls around our heart will crack open, light will shine in, and we will see things we have never seen before. It is then up to us to do something about it. We may or may not recognize what it is (a soulmate connection), but we will definitely know that something supernatural is occurring in our lives! If we are haunted by stress or issue triggers then they will try to convert our miraculous discovery into something that fits their distorted, limiting belief systems. They will make it much harder for us to accept that what we are perceiving could be real.
For example, if someone has issues of inadequacy, trust, and abandonment, then when finding such a love, these issues, and their supporting defenses, will conspire to convince them that it is not real, or that it will not last. They create hypersensitivities to criticism/being wrong (inadequacy), doubting/disbelieving in the honesty of others (trust), and a profound fear that their prospective partner will grow tired of them and leave them behind (abandonment). These preoccupations, of course, represent our own beliefs about ourselves, projected externally upon our relationships. The more important a potential relationship, the more intense the issues. So a soulmate represents the greatest threat because, with them, there is the most to lose. Someone with these issues will likely feel safest and most secure with someone they don’t really care about or respect (less to lose), someone they feel superior to (no threat to inadequacy issues), someone with whom trust is essentially irrelevant (because they don’t really care), someone who expresses little emotion or interest in them (because there will be fewer issue reactions/more comfortable and stable for issues), and someone who is insecure and afraid of losing them (because this will likely give them more power and control in the relationship/less of a likelihood of being abandoned). When we have such issues, they work hard to determine our perceptions, beliefs, and choices. And when they do we, without realizing it, will probably end up creating exactly what we are trying to prevent. Our relationships will either be empty and unfulfilling, or filled with conflict, criticism, abuse, and eventual loss. Whenever we have issues, and fail to address them, then one (or both) of these two general relationship patterns will likely occur.
But if we are courageous enough to open our hearts to our soulmate, to take the risks and face our fears, then we will be able to both rise above our stress and issue triggers, and share the most amazing love imaginable! The higher vibrational frequencies of this love will lift us up, above the mind and human senses, into a place of spirit. (heart chakra). Doing this may require a great deal of courage, trust, and faith; and a willingness to let go of past hurts; in order to become vulnerable to another in the light of spirit love. One thing that often helps us summon the needed fortitude to take this amazing plunge is the realization that we only need to make ourselves vulnerable to this one person. We can still maintain our protective boundaries with everyone else. It does not mean we will lose the safety we have worked so hard to establish. It means we will hold on to it, and add to it by trusting in someone else who will also want to protect us. Fight against those issues and defenses, and take the risk. It is well worth it. It will help transform us spiritually, and simultaneously give us the gift of real love. It will jumpstart our spiritual development process.
Another Way: Living In Spirit
Another way to find real love is to make our spiritual practice our highest priority. Living from spirit will open doors, encourage us to walk through them, and help us elevate our vibration to that of love (heart chakra, or above). Doing so will raise our vibration above the mind and human senses, helping us overcome stress and issue triggers by perceiving life at a frequency that is higher than they are. Daily practices of yoga, meditation, mindfulness, journaling, and exercise can encourage this upward spiral. Expressing ourselves creatively, through music, poetry, sketching, sculpting, painting, and writing (or any other creative outlet) can also help us access and cultivate our spirit. Work with an alternative healer or spiritual teacher may also prove beneficial.
Our Love Will Find A Way: Now With Lead Guitar
For those of you following the development of my song, “Our Love Will Find A Way,” written for my soulmate; here is the latest version, now including lead guitar. Please check it out and let me know what you think! But you better have your dancin’ shoes on! Baby, it’s getting there! I won’t let you down!
Dr. Kai Swigart, is a Hawaii guy, a man on a mission, passion with a purpose. As a healer he is a licensed shrink, shaman, spiritual teacher, vibrational healing practitioner, and coach. As a musician, he writes, arranges, and records original tracks; and play keyboard, guitar, sax, flute, and drums within a variety of genres. I love working out, landscaping, outrigger canoe paddling, swimming, fixing things, dobermans, and dark beer.