Whether it is sending your young children to kindergarten or a high school graduate going off to college, back-to-school is a stressful time for everyone. It can be easy for parents to get extremely anxious and stressed around this time, what with changing routines and schedules, last-minute shopping, and/or childcare arrangements. However, new studies have revealed that obvious and visible parental stress may actually be harming their children, says Jan Bruce, CEO and co-founder of meQuilibrium, a leader in digital coaching for stress and resilience.
“Times of transition are tough on everyone,” Bruce says. “But if ‘back-to-school’ is visibly stressing you, remember that your kids will pick up on the signals. That’s a very compelling reason for parents to learn how to identify and manage their own stress triggers so they don’t pass this unhealthy behavior on to their kids.”
Ways to Reduce Stress
- Exercise: Exercise is a fantastic way to reduce cortisol levels and stay healthy. It can be difficult with the back-to-school transition, but setting aside some time for yourself to take care of your body will make a huge difference in how you and your body cope with stress.
- Meditation: Meditation has been around for hundreds of years and is a well-known, proven way to reduce stress and stay grounded. Even sitting and breathing for 5 minutes a day can reduce stress.
- Play: Juggling schedules can be tricky, but scheduling some time to spend with your kids and family by doing something fun everyone will enjoy can decrease cortisol levels. Take everyone to the park, or run around and play fetch with the dog in the backyard, or even playing a simple game of hide-and-seek can snap you and your kids out of the stress cycle and allow you to have some relaxed fun and connect.
- Therapy: Don’t bottle up all your stress and emotion. Talk to a friend, a partner, or a mental health professional and relieve some of your feelings. This will clear up your emotional space as well as your cognitive brain space, making tackling whatever new thing life throws at you more manageable.
Back-to-School Anxiety
Studies show that children absorb the stress of their parents, particularly at high-pressure transition times like the start of a new school year, adds Bruce. For example, a 2010 study from the American Psychological Association called “Stress in America” showed that when their parents are stressed, nearly half of tweens (47 percent) and one-third of teens (33 percent) say they feel sad; one-third of tweens (36 percent) and 43 percent of teens say they feel worried; and 25 percent of tweens and 38 percent of teens say they feel frustrated. Studies show that children as young as 8 years old are now experiencing some of the physical and emotional health consequences often associated with stress.
These middle school and high school age children are also more likely to have trouble falling asleep, with 48 percent of teens and 33 percent of tweens reporting sleep issues. 43 percent of teens and 28 percent of tweens have also reported an increase in headaches. They have also been observed eating too much or too little (48 percent of teens and 16 percent of tweens) and feeling angry or getting into fights (22 percent of teens and 13 percent of tweens). All these symptoms are commonly associated with stress.
Parents Underestimate Their Stress Impact
Parents also tend to underestimate the impact their stress has on the family as a whole, which could have deeper health implications than they realize. Over two-thirds (69 percent) of parents of teens and tweens think that their stress has slight or no impact on their children, yet only 14 percent of children say that their parent’s stress does not bother them. That is quite a gap.
However, children who say a parent is always stressed are more likely to report having a great deal of stress themselves compared to those who say their parents are never stressed (17 percent vs. 2 percent).
Tweens and teens turn to sedentary behaviors—listening to music (36 percent of tweens and 66 percent of teens), playing video games (56 percent of tweens and 41 percent of teens), or watching TV (34 percent of tweens and 30 percent of teens) to make themselves feel better when they are worried or stressed.
“One of the healthiest things parents can do is learn to manage their own stress to immunize their kids from catching the stress disease,” says Bruce.
