There are very few things that could give you meaning in life, one of which is loving someone who loves you back. It’s a majestic feeling that makes you feel like dancing in the middle of the night under the moonlit sky. It fills you with indescribable feelings of warmth, tranquility, and just pure love.
But falling in love doesn’t always have a happy ending. After a couple of pitfalls, you start thinking of love as a curse, disguised in the most enchanting of colorful spells. It’s heartbreaking, it’s painful, and it’s enough to make you want to shut your heart forever.
And yet, there are those who can still make it work. Is that even possible? Is there such a thing as true love?
Where Did It Go Wrong With the Ex?
The thing with falling in love and getting our hearts broken is that, it teaches us most about ourselves. And yes that sounds really cliche, but hear me out.
When we fall into our first real love, we love the only way we know how. We love with our raw instincts, and usually that’s so far off how a healthy relationship should be. We only realize that when we’re too deep into a breaking-down relationship. Even though the love was real, it didn’t work out the way we expected.
And so, we break up. We go our separate ways and keep wondering: Could it have ended differently? More importantly, is there a way we could fix this? We have so many questions and very few answers. But how little do we know, for being in a healthy relationship is completely different from everything we’ve known. According to the blog post, Does my ex want me back?, it’s important that you understand the signs of what may indicate an ex wanting to get back with you. But what’s more important is that you realize what it was that made you go your separate ways in the first place, and to be completely honest with yourself of whether it would be a healthy situation to be in for the long run, regardless of your feelings.
5 Things You Do Differently in a Healthy Relationship
While failing at love teaches us a lot about ourselves, we’ll never be able to make it work without learning from all of our lessons. Here are five things that are done differently in a healthy relationship:
1. You accept your partner for who they really are.
There’s a huge difference between loving someone and falling in love. Falling in love is so easy, and usually we’re too blinded by the good and happy times times to see further into each other. But “loving” is not easy. It’s not easy to accept the other person for all of their imperfections. There are things that will get on both of your nerves, but that’s okay. A couple in a healthy relationship accept each other’s flaws. They love each other, not despite of their flaws, but for them.
2. You respect each other.
Another part of accepting each other for your flaws, is respecting that each of you is their own person. They have their own preferences, their own rules, and their own way of how they want to do things. There are things that will upset your partner that won’t make any sense to you, but it does for them. And that should be enough to give them their space to feel.
3. You don’t lose yourself in the relationship.
You don’t have to have the same hobbies, interests, desires, or even goals. You don’t have to be a copy of each other. When you look at it, the differences you have can compliment you both, and that’s a blessing. The most beautiful thing about being in love is to be able to be your own person, without losing yourself into the other person. And that’s how it is in a healthy relationship.
4. You build your relationship on trust, which is built on mutual honesty.
You’ve probably heard about this, but if the relationship isn’t built on mutual honesty and trust, then it’s so far away from being healthy. We’re not even talking about straight on lying. Even the slightest lack of honesty is sufficient to breed insecurity, jealousy, and fear. These are expressed as anger, fights, and can go as far as justifying cheating. Lack of honesty is the first sign of a sure failure.
5. You share the beautiful moments together, and work on fixing your bad times on your own.
When we find that person who makes us feel on the top of the world, it’s easy to mistake them for being our savior and answer to all of our problems. But a healthy relationship isn’t about two halves completing each other other. It’s about being two whole persons who knows how to fix their lives, how to be happy on their own, and how to deal with their sadness on their own without throwing it on the other person.
Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
Being in a healthy relationship is the goal all of us want to achieve, but it takes a lot of mutual effort to reach. It’s not something that just happens. When we fail at love, we’ve only failed at one opportunity, and that gives us the precious gift of learning how to make it work the next time time around. So when the next time comes, we’ll know how love in a healthy relationship feels. It’s built on mutual understanding, maturity, respect, honesty, trust, and pure friendship. It’s not easy to maintain. Some days you’ll be able to give your 90%, others you’ll only be able to afford 10%. But that’s okay, because your partner will always meet you halfway through. You’ll always have your 100%, together.